gray day [1996]

my head throbs
the computer hums and clicks and whines
my neighbor's music a dull ache in my back
his laughter causing homicidal tendencies
i need to eat
i need to feel
i need to wake up
so many things to do
so little energy to do with
the muscles in my arms strain to stay afloat
this itching on my scalp smells of unwashed hair
are you reading this
thinking i am hating everything?
now a zap zap zap in my right collarbone
why won't my body leave me alone?
i can't decide what not to say
but i am annoyed
stapler remote earplugs hairtie jeans shirt mouse phone pictures
paperclips lamp calendar wall towel tapestry curtain radiator
will this be my gray day?
and will you be my gray doll?
and will all our gray emotions roil and boil and foil
out of control?
will this be my gray day?
and is the sky just gray stars?
and will all the gray rain just stain with pain your name
into my heart?