The Journal

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Most foul

It turned 6pm and, suddenly, when it seemed most appropriate given the dusky pink and orange sky and the lavender Cascades bending into the approaching evening, every crow took to the air and meandered past my window in an east south easterly direction.

they flew not as one organism, as do the starlings and the geese and the ducks, but solo, winding about alone on individual columns of october breezes. a few flew west. in raucous joy an amoebic gang of blackbirds danced over the steel ducts and red brick of Wilcox hall, near the great green smokestack about which Pacific Place turns. the murders are gone; off to warmer, drier havens while here the bits of refuse wait, frozen until spring when the trenchcoated jokesters will return to claim their fetid prizes and thrash about the dumpsters, reminiscing on their winter adventure.

time to go home.

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So Long Summer

"Which one is it that gives you trouble?" Kolb asked routinely.

"The back left one." Reider pointed in the direction, trying to draw attention away from his mussed-up hair and foul breath.

"And what's it doing? Just kicking up to 'high', even when you've got the throttle all the way down?" Kolb unlocked the access panel and began garruting the thruster, severing wires, oil spraying out with each slash, dripping on the ground, running up her elbows. Reider winced.

"Yeah, something like that." Reider tried to think of the ocean, or hiking, or yogurt -- pleasant thoughts -- to avoid the horror of the dissection of his precious possession.

Kolb stood straight and shook her head.

"Let me go get the shop supervisor to get a second opinion. I'll be right back."

The supervisor was a gruff, grisled man, whose respect for machines seemed to have dwindled as he aged.

"Hi. Kerr." He said by way of introduction. "The back left one?"

Reider nodded. Without warning, Mr. Kerr shoved his arm deep into the workings of the power supply assembly and cranked something around. Deep within the machine, cables twisted, fluids burst their overflow reservoirs, horrible groans shuddered along the hull. Kerr extracted his hand, which was now covered with oil and conduction fluid, and Reider's stomach churned.

"Well, Mr. Reider, it should be a little touchy for the next week or so. The fluid lines will have to equilibrate for a while, and you may notice some leakage from the overflow reservoirs. It'll mostly be just an. . . inconvenience, for a while." Kerr tossed his gloves aside and jotted down some notes. Kolb tried to look sympathetic.

Reider nodded again, eyes glazed over, escaping into that happier place where contraptions of metal and plastic did not bleed.

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A Bad Week

As you may have noticed, there are some fairly drastic changes being made to this website. This is mostly due to the fact that Thanatos, the wonderful and spacious server run by my friend Jon Miyake, was forced to go down. Other changes have to do with the fact that I now only have 10MB of space to work with here, so I've had to move all the photos to Kristen's site and delete and downsize many pictures. The KaBlouie images are still waiting for space to move in, but I'll try to make the best with what I have.

K10 and I will also be moving apartments soon -- so there's another thing to worry about.

This stupid keyboard has a faulty comma key, which makes me very annoyed. I think I shall go now.

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Toenails and Eyelashes

I often measure the passage of days by how quickly the keratin grows. There are dents in my thumbnails for those weeks where I ate poorly or was wracked with anxiety. The tiny eyebrow hairs littering my pillow in the morning tell me how I slept, much like the reading of tea leaves at the bottom of those bell shaped porcelain cups at the grimy Chinese restaurant down the street.

They serve an egg flower soup that contains creamed corn -- an American Southwest vegetable in Asian cuisine? A metaphor for my genetics: Half Irish farmboy, half Cantonese farmboy. Corn chowder and egg flower.

I know I am an ingracious host. This journal was to be filled with all sorts of musings, but I haven't touched it in over two months. Shame on me. I also promised to put a little story in here for 4/1/99, but never got around to it. Life just got in the way, as it always does -- work, school, friends, family... but mostly work.

I'll be starting summer term classes this next Monday, taking two calculus classes and a programming course. It's the first of many steps to get myself a better job and to make myself a happier person.

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April's Few

Last year, for the first of April, I wrote a little ironic story (see below). I plan to continue this tradition, though it may take me a while. But first, a continuation of my log of days while Kristen is in the Phillipines:

Saturday-Sunday, March 20-21: I spent much time driving this weekend. I hate driving.

Monday-Friday, March 22-26: Work, work, work, work, and work. The only highlight was getting my paycheck. Adam and I drove down to Eugene together on Friday night, spending a few hours getting caught up on stuff.

Saturday-Sunday, March 27-28: Adam and I arrived at Ryan & Kim's at about 2:30am. We slept on the floor until Nick woke us up at 8am. Nick's 1st birthday party went well, and I got a drastic haircut. Adam had to say a long goodbye to Cheryle before we went back up to Seattle. Long distance relationships suck.

Monday-Thursday, March 29-April 1: Work, work, work, and work. I hung (hanged?) out with my brother and sister at the Mecca on Tuesday night. It's so cool to be able to just spend time together as siblings again. Anyway, I put my bike in the shop yesterday, so I can start biking to work again. Well, you'll be home in 11 hours, so I'll fill you in when you get here. Have a safe flight...

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St. Paddy Laddy

Well, Kristen's off in the Philippines, getting friendly with the mosquitoes and helping Jimmy Carter build houses. I told her I'd keep track of goings on back home in Seattle, so here's the first installment:

Kristen,

Tuesday, March 16: Went to work after dropping you off at school, couldn't find any free parking. Boy did that suck. After work, went to see "Shakespeare in Love" with Laurel. I'll give the movie three stars *** . It's your basic feel-good romance with a bittersweet ending. Gwyneth Paltrow, yum. Joseph Fiennes, yum. Judi Dench was neat. It'll get best original screenplay but nothing else. Um... After the movie, played with my Casio keyboard and goofed around with the sounds on Starcraft. Went to bed at about 2:30am...

Wednesday, March 17: Woke up just past 10am, played some Holst really loud on the stereo to start the day, walked to work so I wouldn't have to find parking. Went to Thai food with a few people from work for lunch. Pretty good restaurant. I'll have to take you there someday. I've still got an hour and a half of work left, so I guess I'll have to pick this up later. Think I want to see "Life is Beautiful" or something like that tonight.

Thursday, March 18: Last night I went to see "Life is Beautiful" by myself. It was the first time I'd ever seen a movie in a theater alone. It's an extremely powerful movie -- funny and sad -- so it was weird to not have anyone to discuss it with afterwards. You'll have to watch it with me again when you get back, if it's still playing. I dreamt about a whole lot of weird stuff last night, but I don't remember any of it. I'm at work now, and the sky is grey as always. My mom called at 7am this morning, and then your mom called at 8. She told me you arrived in Manila just fine, but that your dad's and brother's luggage didn't.

Friday, March 19: Two good newses in one day! I got your email and my tax return. I watched "Saving Private Ryan" last night by myself. Damn. I feel like I've been to a funeral. On the other hand, I'm not in the mood to play any computer games, especially those involving shooting guns. It'll probably get best picture simply because it was so meticulous in its portrayal of the gut wrenching, mind numbing pain and confusion of battle. Not that I would know from personal experience. Anyway, I'm headed down to Salem tonight. I'll spend the night at Brent's house, then spend Saturday bumming around Eugene, then help Adam move up on Sunday.

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Is it spring yet?

I'm having a pretty good day. I got to go rock climbing and the sun is shining.

Well, I have to go. Can't let all this light go to waste.

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Peace Piece

Yesterday, I parked my car in front of my apartment building after a particularly draining day at work. After turning off the engine, I stopped to feel the silence seep into my weary skin, and the solitude of my armor shuddered as internal combustion ceased. A thought came to my mind and just as spontaneously leapt into the air between me and the windshield.

I said:
There was a time when all I wanted was freedom.
When I got freedom, I found I had no money.
I said, "All I need now is money."
Money would bring me peace.
When I got money, I found I had no friends.
I said, "All I need now are friends."
Friends would bring me peace.
When I got friends, I found I had no freedom.

And so on.

Kristen told me last night as I was drifting to sleep that I am always waiting for the next thing to happen instead of living now. I'll figure out how to do that as soon as I get my next paycheck and as soon as the sun comes back and as soon as...

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Test tube, baby.

I hate giving updates. Anyway, I'm still in Seattle, but I'm finally working somewhere science-related. The UW Molecular Biotechnology Department has a lab in lower Queen Anne that does genomic studies. A tear-blinding roller coaster of a hill down from my apartment, this lab is filled with all kinds of neat toys and techniques to keep me interested (and paid) until grad school this fall.

Assuming I get in, I'll be starting my studies in Biophysics in September at the University of Washington.

Other stuff: Kristen is grad schooling in geopgraphy, Laurel is ITPing for American Sign Language, Leah and Matt are getting their bearings, rain is falling, wind is blowing, stomach is growling.

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